Grief
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That 3-Letter Word We All Use
I've often thought it was unfair that some people lived dangerous and reckless lives, smoking, drinking and driving, doing drugs, eating whatever they want...and live for a long time. While others try to make good decisions, and pass away so young?
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Happy Heavenly Birthday
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The Ten Year Challenge
I did not see 2019 in front of me; and particularly not all that's happened during those years. But in that moment, I felt alone, forgotten, angry; even mad.
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Grieving Through the Holidays
It’s here. That time of the year when your emotions might be shooting off in multiple directions at the same time. You’re up and you’re down; smiling for the photographs one moment, while crying behind closed doors another moment. Every year you tell yourself you’ll do better. That it’ll get better. That’s what everyone told you when you said goodbye to your loved one. But the years have gone by and the moments still come, some expectedly; that birthday, anniversary, different holiday seasons. Other times it comes out of nowhere. Was it a scent? The smell of a candle that used to burn in their house. A sound? That silly…
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Grieving Through Your Current Situation
Three weeks ago, my doctor diagnosed me with hypertension! I wasn’t even there in his office for that. I was there for my four-month blood work monitoring since having my thyroid removed six years ago. But as they always do, checking weight and taking blood pressure is an every visit thing, no matter the reason for being there. My blood pressure has always jumped around a bit. But up until 2012, following the issues with my thyroid, it had typically bounced between normal and low; only sometimes being a bit on the borderline scale. After the surgery, the bounce was more times borderline, some times normal, and at times high;…
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A Sad, Happy Birthday to My Friend
Today, September 17, is my friend Kay’s 56th birthday. More accurately, I guess I should say that it would have been her birthday. The last time I saw Kay was over the Labor Day weekend, a few weeks before her 46th birthday. That was when she decided to defy what her doctors were telling her, and prove them wrong. Ten years earlier, Kay had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Several years and multiple surgeries, celebrations, and disappointments later, her doctors spoke those fated words that no one in the middle of a battle wants to hear. He told her they had done everything and there was nothing more they could…
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The Journey of a Goodbye
I woke up this morning, not really wanting to get out of the bed. Although I have had plenty of do-nothing Saturdays over the course of our summer break, I knew this one was the start of my new routine; at least for the next four months. Classes will be back in on Monday, and just like that, my days will be filled with teaching, research, serving on committees, and sitting in various meetings. And my nights and weekends will be consumed with grading, responding to student email, prepping for the next class, and writing papers. So with that, I reluctantly got dressed, and headed out the door for my…
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A Picture Paints a Million Memories
A friend recently posted on her Instagram that she thinks her kids and husband are growing tired of her taking so many pictures of them. Then said “but one day they’ll thank me.” I couldn’t agree more. Somewhere along the way between my post-high school days and young adult years, I became the unofficial keeper of the family history, including pictures. I wasn’t as obnoxious as one of my sisters who “ready or not,” would shove a still or video camera in your face and take your photo or start filming, whether you wanted it or not, I believed in the “grab your lip gloss, straighten your shirt, pull your…
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Into the Arms of the Lord
A friend and former colleague off mine texted me on yesterday (Tuesday) and said that they were calling hospice for her mom. I was out and about, and missed the first text by about an hour. This Wednesday morning, a second text alerted me that she had passed away earlier in the morning. “Mom slipped quietly into the arms of the Lord early this morning. She is at peace.” I knew her mother lived back in her hometown, about an hour from where my friend lived. She was elderly and had been battling dementia for many years. My friend’s sister had been the primary caretaker since their dad passed away…
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The Secrets Our Journals Keep
I picked up one of my old journals today for the purpose of looking for something specific that I’d written over 10 years ago. I’ve hung on to every journal notebook I’ve filled, perhaps as far back as high school, though their locations vary. I wish I’d been better organized all those years ago, and included a table of content, of sorts, so I’d remember what was in which journal. One of my nieces recently turned me on to something called “bullet journaling,” which I’m going to try with the next new journal I pick up. But this morning, as I continue work on my book, Was looking for something…
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The Healing Ministry of Presence
I saw this tweet last week from Rick Warren, a pastor, an author, and the father of a son who committed suicide several years ago. That had to be so hard for him, his wife and family, being a pastor of a large church, a best-selling author of several books, including The Purpose Driven Life, and in the public spotlight for a number of reasons; beyond just the Church community. Grieving the loss of a loved one is hard enough, for anyone. But having to do it in a fishbowl of onlookers, had to be hard. That said, I will admit that I was one of the onlookers, not just…
